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04/12/2018 12:00 AMIf you have a male friend or relative who's getting married, or are yourself becoming a groom, chances are the term "stag party" has come up. So, what is a stag party? Is it a celebration for the man getting married, a fundraising opportunity, or a little of both?
In many places, the terms "bachelor party" and "stag party" may be used interchangeably, but along the shoreline, a stag party is its own animal. While the bachelor party is a chance for close friends to celebrate the groom, a stag party is a chance for a wider net of friends (and friends of friends) to come together to celebrate—and to raise funds for the couple getting married.
It seems to be a growing trend.
Bob Bishop, who handled party rentals at VFW Post 591 in Wallingford through 2017, says the hall was host to about "8 to 10" stags in 2017, which was about twice the amount of stags held there a year prior. The reason the parties are growing in popularity seems clear.
"The last guy I talked to, I think he said he made like $3,500 to give the groom," Bishop says.
Getting anywhere from a couple dozen to a couple hundred guests to happily hand over cash is part of the art of the stag party. Shoreline resident Matt Glorioso has attended about "six or seven" stag parties and has helped organize two of them.
"There's pretty much three major aspects [to a successful stag], I would say," Glorioso says. "There's the location; there's the entertainment, like the food, the games; and then there's the moneymaking."
Tickets to the party are one source of revenue, but with ticket prices usually ranging from $25 to $35, it's often just enough to cover the costs of the party itself.
According to Glorioso, one of the best ways to generate money for the groom-to-be is through raffles. He says it's a good idea to have a mix of "high ticket items" and smaller items.
"Everybody's going for the big ticket items, but you've got to entice them with some smaller things, too, and typically useful items...like tools, electronic devices, things of that nature," Glorioso says.
Bishop says he's seen three to four long tables full of raffle prizes set up at stag parties.
For those looking to have a wedding fundraiser and party that's not gender specific, a Jack and Jill party might be a good alternative. Bishop says that in his day, women had a bridal shower and men had the stag parties, but now the Jack and Jill parties have become more common.
"That's the shower-stag combo; it's a twofer," Bishop says.
A Jack-and-Jill can be a little more complicated to organize—you'll likely need to hire a DJ to play music for dancing—but there are other advantages. Bishop likes them better than stag parties because, he notes, drinking is usually kept at a minimum.
"They're bringing their girls and wives...they're on their good behavior," Bishop says.
Bishop acknowledges that some halls won't rent out to people looking to hold a stag party, but he's never had any problems resulting from holding these parties.
Bishop addresses another preconception some may have about stag parties: Bringing live entertainment is on the way out. "That's old-style thinking," he says.
Some of the taming of stag parties in recent years may be simply due to the age at which people are getting married. While he was 24 years old when he got married, Bishop says he's noticed that "honorees" for stag parties now are usually around their late twenties or early thirties, and being older may contribute to more awareness of everyone's limits.
"They know they can't drink a bar dry," Bishop said with a laugh.
That said, the stag party remains first and foremost a party. Glorioso says his favorite part of a stag is getting everyone together and making sure they have a good time.
"It's really pretty much just a big party for everybody," he says , "It's a good way to start the celebration of holy matrimony."