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Love That Lasts

Thomas W. & Emily O'NeilMarried May 1, 1965

Thomas and Emily O'Neil first met at a grad school night class called Diplomatic History at George Washington University.

"It was absolutely filled," Emily recalls. "There were so many people there, at least 50. We met at the very last class. I came in late and sat down next to Tom. I was familiar with him in that he was very much a part of the class discussion. When I sat down, he said something funny like, 'Here's my bookie now,' and I thought, Wha-a-at? "

They started talking and told one another where they were from. Emily was from Gettysburg, Pennsylvania and Tom was from Amityville, Long Island.

"I had a distant cousin on my mother's side there named Kitty O'Neil, so I figured we were probably related," Emily says. "I asked him and he said no, but his parents had known Kitty O'Neil."

With the lack of family ties confirmed, Tom asked Emily out for coffee that night. She couldn't go because she had a date with someone else. They ended up choosing the same of two optional times to take their final exam for the class, and Tom asked Emily out afterward "the old-fashioned way," Emily says.

"He asked if he could see me home and I said, 'Sure.' We started walking and talking and this went on for a long time, about half an hour. Finally I said, 'Tom, where's your car?' and he said, 'I don't have a car. Where's your apartment?' We were walking around in circles."

They learned through conversation that they had actually spoken on the phone many times before at their respective jobs. Emily worked in the legislative reference section at the Library of Congress, which required a lot of newspaper information.

"A good friend of mine had told me, 'The best person to call is Tom O'Neil at the New York Herald Tribune Washington Bureau. He's very nice and helpful and he has a lot of information right at his fingertips.' I said to him, 'Oh my goodness, I'm Emily Rosensteel!' We had spoken on the phone many times before, but I hadn't connected it until then."

Having determined they already knew each other, and that Tom was carless and they were nowhere near Emily's apartment, they ducked into a Howard Johnson's—the same complex that would eventually play a large role in the Watergate scandal. Tom bought Emily a maple walnut ice cream cone, which is still her favorite to this day, she says.

The couple has two children and four grandchildren between the ages of 2 and 14. They raised their children in Stony Creek. In 1999 they moved to Guilford and are active members of St. George Church.

Their secret to staying married? Emily says, "Life is always changing, but the most important thing is constantly keeping up with what's going on. You have the core of your love, but it's important to constantly learn and grow in your marriage. A constant growth should occur in all aspects of life."

As for their soon-to-be 51 years of marriage, Emily says, "It's just incredible to us, too—the amount of time and how it's passed. And yet, obviously there's good reason for that, a lot of life."

Ben & Ellie LaTorre, MadisonMarried Nov. 23, 1961

Ben and Ellie LaTorre of Madison will be married 55 years in November. Their wedding on Thanksgiving Day 1961 "turned out to be much larger than we thought," Ellie says with a chuckle. "We ended up having 250 people at the dinner and 500 people at the reception."

Ellie's parents owned a supermarket that was open every day of the year except Thanksgiving and Christmas, so that explained the Thanksgiving Day wedding—and yes, there was turkey.

"The only problem is we only got to dance the required [first] dance. We were too busy feeding everyone!" Ellie says.

Ben and Ellie have four children and 10 grandchildren between the ages of 6 and 21. "Our four children were born before we were 28," Ben says. "My wife had three kids in diapers at one time." Ellie adds, "Just for a couple months."

Ellie worked as an RN, and as a clinical social worker before retiring. She was also involved with the Newcomers' Club. "They were a big part of our circle of friends in Madison," Ellie says. She served on the Madison Country Club's board for several years and was active in the Women's League.

Ben worked for a lawn company for 17 years and left to get into the family business, ABM Business Systems, Inc., which is still active in Guilford. All of the LaTorres worked there throughout the years.

Ben was very active with the Jaycees and the Madison Exchange Club, serving as the latter's president at one point.

"I'm not as active as I could be," he says, "but we're busy trying to be retired. All of our kids played a lot of sports, so a lot of our activities were based around the kids' activities. We made some of our best friends in life in Madison."

Ellie says, "Our grandchildren now are in sports and it's like reliving our kids' lives."

Ben says, "One of the things we did as a family that kept us pretty much together—and we are a 'together' family, everybody gets along and everybody loves each other—is go skiing. All six of us and the dog would sleep in one room, but the winters went by beautifully."

"Our kids are doing it with their kids now," says Ellie. The couple also takes a biannual vacation with their kids and grandkids.

"You know your kids really like you when they want to go on vacation with you," Ben says. "We've done a lot of things outside normal family activities together, and it's really made our life complete."

Their advice for staying married for 50-plus years, according to Ellie, is to be nice to each other.

"Treat each other as you would a stranger. Sometimes we take each other for granted. 'Please' and 'thank you' go a long way, and just being kind."

Ben adds, "We found activities that we both enjoy doing, that our kids enjoyed, so that keeps us together. We both played golf, we played tennis when we came to town. We learned to ski together and those things keep you doing similar activities and it makes it fun, we have a lot of fun."

Ellie says, "I think one thing, too, is you can't lose your couple-ness. The kids take over the most important time of your life when you're young, but you always have to remember you're a couple and keep that special. We've had date night our whole lives. No matter what, one night a week was for us. So when the kids left, we still knew each other."