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02/07/2024 08:30 AMThe loss of a friend’s life due to fentanyl poisoning in 2018 still looms for North Branford resident Hunter Mayhew, who has since dedicated his efforts to helping people defeat addiction.
In 2018, Hunter’s best friend, Madison resident Joe Deane, died after numerous attempts to shake his opiod addiction and get his promising future headed in a positive direction.
Today, Hunter works as an addiction counselor at Root Center for Advanced Recovery, where he assists those who find themselves struggling, like Joe, to take control of their lives.
“Helping clients mitigate the risks associated with substance use is so important. If I had known then what I know now, I certainly would’ve been having more of these types of conversations with Joe,” says Hunter. “I took a job at Root Center for Advanced Recovery because they are one of the largest substance use and mental health providers in the state, and they have an awesome treatment philosophy. I love their treatment model. Opioid use disorder is a large problem and I feel that Root Center…is cultivating the resources to save lives. Good substance use treatment in any capacity, at its core, is patient centered, compassionate, and always growing to improve treatment outcomes.”
Growing up in Madison, Hunter spent his youth with Joe among a close circle of friends, playing sports and eventually becoming part of the Deane family clan.
“I met Joe when we were really young. We had classes together, probably as far back as early middle school at least 5th grade. I really knew him for most of my life,” says Hunter. “Joe had one of those personalities where it was hard not to like him. He was always in a good mood. It was hard not to gravitate towards him. Growing up as kids, we were more like siblings. Things were not super great at home for me, and I spent a lot of time at the Deane house growing up and got to know the whole family really well. I still think of Joe’s brother as a close friend. Sometimes I struggle to put words to the bond Joe and I had, but he’s irreplaceable and, to me, he was a sibling—that simple.”
After graduation, Hunter pursued a business degree, but soon found that the corporate world was not his path in life. After transferring, he obtained a degree in art therapy, where he was involved in internships and gained experience in addiction recovery and counseling.
“I ultimately transferred to Albertus Magnus, which has a great art therapy program. That’s where I was exposed by an internship to a treatment program at the Stonington Institute. I did my first internship there during my junior year of college. As I got more familiar with art therapy, that’s when I started to consider a different degree,” Hunter says. “When I graduated, I took a job at Stonington doing clinical case management and, shortly after that, enrolled in [the Southern Connecticut State University] Masters of Social Work [MSW] program while starting a separate specialized education and training program for addiction counseling.”
Hunter says the devastation of his friend’s death had a profound impact on him, and he wanted to ensure that meaning and a positive narrative could be found in such a tragic loss. Despite a career path that forces him to confront the realities of addiction, Hunter says he is still learning to deal with the grief of Joe’s passing.
“For weeks, even months after the fact, it just didn’t seem real. Still, even to this day, all these years later, it’s a hard conversation to have. He was my closest friend. There will still be moments where I’ll go to text him and remember that I can’t anymore,” Hunter says.
The death of his friend also drove home a crucial realization.
“The worst part is, I am not a mother, a father, or his legitimate brother—just a friend who loved him very much. I can only imagine how much more his mother and father and brother have suffered as a result of Joe’s death. The hardest part for me has been coping with how much regret I feel. As one of their son’s closest friends…I feel tremendous sadness and guilt for the family who always welcomed me into their home so openly,” says Hunter. “It hurts to accept that as one of very few individuals who might’ve had a deep enough relationship with Joe to where the right conversation at the right time could have made a difference, that I missed every chance because I didn’t know how to have that conversation and felt afraid of how it might affect our friendship.”
Following Joe’s death, his mother, Lisa Deane, created Demand Zero, an organization dedicated to pushing an educational agenda for those addicted and those in danger of falling into opiate addiction. Lisa’s efforts also inspired Hunter to take part in several Demand Zero projects, including a new initiative, A Virtual Youth Assembly aimed at young adults that doesn’t mince words on the realities of addiction.
The project has been viewed by more than 10,000 Connecticut students thus far, and the organization is pushing for even wider access. Hunter says that speaking about Joe in the project was something he felt he needed to be a part of.
“Joe’s mother had called me and asked if I would do an interview to talk about my relationship with Joe, the impact of fentanyl addiction, our relationship growing up, and our perspectives. I really wanted to focus on education and convey how the decisions that we made, or watched people make as adolescents, had lifelong consequences because of the general lack of awareness and an absence of conversations about the dangers of opioids,” says Hunter. “In high school, nobody knew or believed then that we would grow up and start to see our friends, family, and so many people we love overdose, cycle in and out of treatment, and even die. I just wanted the kids to understand that opioids are going to be around, they are super dangerous, that it’s OK to have conversations about this huge global issue, and there are resources to access for help and information. Nobody deserves to feel hopeless and stuck.”
For more on Demand Zero, the Youth Assembly, and the organization’s other projects, visit: www.demandzero.org/. If you or someone else you love is suffering from addiction, there are numerous avenues for help. The Root Center for Advanced Recovery is among many in the state that can assist. Visit www.rootcenter.org/.