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05/09/2023 08:25 AMThe coronavirus pandemic strongly impacted student relationships in American schools, including East Haven High School (EHHS). To ease those severed ties and provide support for students in numerous ways, school counselors like Kayla Torpey are there to help.
Kayla sees her role as one that supports all students at EHHS. A student counselor role such as Kayla’s normally involves evaluating and identifying students in special education services. But that is only one aspect of her work with students.
“In this building, my main role is really the counseling and the student focus. If there’s a crisis or if they want to pop in and talk to me about something,” Kayla says. “I think as I progressed through here, it’s been a lot more working with the kids directly in the counseling setting.”
During her five years at EHHS, she has gotten to know many students, especially this year’s soon-to-be graduating seniors, with whom she has worked almost that entire time frame. Establishing close ties with that cohort of students, along with the others that populated the high school, is what Kayla has found to be part of the role she enjoys the most.
“Definitely the kids and the relationships I built with them, especially seniors because I started with them. Over these four years, I’ve gotten to know them. And it’s also nice to see them grow.”
She even started creating a wall of photographs of this year’s seniors as a memory board of those she has worked with and seen grow during their high school careers.
When Kayla began working at EHHS, it was in a period she calls “the testing piece.” She was only starting to acclimate herself to being the new school counselor for the school, and she sought help from other social workers and the director of pupil services. Then the pandemic struck.
“I was home, and then I did a little bit of virtual counseling, but a lot of the kids…their focus wasn’t accessing me for scheduled sessions. So a lot of my day was just kind of like sitting around and waiting if someone needed me or not, which was difficult.”
Since returning to in-person learning, she has helped to reestablish ties that had been severed due to isolation in virtual learning and get students back into their academic and social grooves.
A typical day comes with variety and flexibility, another part of her job she enjoys. That variety is partly due to the multiple different issues Kayla tackles, not just for students but with students. Different methods of counseling are then employed but without a structured approach. Kayla views that as the best way to solve an issue.
“When a kid walks through the door, a lot of times they come to me with a specific issue in that moment, and we just address that in the moment. I kind of let them lead the conversation. As [students] get older, it’s more talk-based,” she says. “When you’re young, you do a lot of activities and lessons, and you’re more teaching the basic social skills. As they get older with them, it’s a lot more just like talk therapy in a way.”
The conversation on the mental health effects of social media use among teenagers has become a prevalent topic for psychologists who study that demographic. Kayla has seen its effects on students through virtual disturbances such as cyberbullying. She advises students that they have the power to use social media in a way that can be the healthiest for their developing minds, despite how difficult it may be.
“What I end up saying is, ‘Well, if this person’s doing this, the easiest thing to do is really just to block them…It’s getting you overwhelmed or upset or frustrated; it’s distracting you from the more important things like work and other friendships and family and the things that matter,” she says.
She also reminds students that putting their phones down and having in-person conversations is important, especially when they need to speak with her about whatever problem they are facing in a virtual setting.
Above all, Kayla’s favorite part of being a student counselor is seeing the impact that she has had on students, as demonstrated by communications outside the walls of EHHS.
“I’ll know I’ve made an impact when they want to contact me when they graduate. Or even just to say ‘Hi,’ or even just to, like, say ‘I hope you had a great Easter.’ If they are still thinking about me and want to have that relationship to some extent. That’s when I know, ‘Okay, I mean something to them.’ And they mean something to me.”