This is a printer-friendly version of an article from Zip06.com.
02/21/2018 07:30 AMEven as domestic violence is making national news, “domestic violence is not new; it’s always happening,” says Esperina Stubblefield, director of BHcare’s Umbrella Center for Domestic Violence Services (UCDVS).
Every nine seconds, a woman is assaulted or battered in the United States. One in three women and one in four men have been victims of some form of physical violence by an intimate partner within their lifetime, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention’s National Center for Injury Prevention and Control.
Esperina says if today’s national conversation does anything, she hopes it helps remove the stigma that may be keeping someone from sharing that they are a victim.
“It’s something that no one wants to talk about,” she says. “I think it’s a good thing it’s coming out, in a way, because it may give people an opening to talk about it, to say, ‘Did you see what’s happening to this person? It’s happening to me.’”
Reaching out for help is the first important step for domestic violence victims. UCDVS provides programs and services for residents in 19 towns, including Branford, North Branford, East Haven, Guilford, Madison, and North Haven.
One of the most critical steps a victim can take is to call for help, says Esperina. UCDVS has three 24-hour hotline numbers: 203-736-9944, 203-789-8104, and (toll free) 1-888-774-2900.
In addition to hotlines, UCDVS also provides walk-in crisis assistance, emergency safe housing, advocacy, counseling, case management, family violence victims advocates, court-based advocacy, support groups, legal advocacy, teen and elderly programs, and community and victim education options.
Eighty to 85 percent of those assisted by UCDVS are women, says Esperina. The center also helps teens who encounter domestic violence, especially through stalking and dating violence. Elderly victims assisted by UCDVS often are suffering from physical and financial abuse from their family or caretakers.
“Typically, you think it’s this mom and this husband, but domestic violence does not have a face. It’s everybody,” says Esperina. “Maybe it’s not the mom, maybe it’s the husband that’s being abused by the woman.”
Abuse can take a toll on victims’ emotional, physical, and financial well-being. It also can make a victim feel isolated from family and friends, and make them worry that their children may be threatened.
Each year, more than 6,000 people from the communities covered by UCDVS reach out to the center for help, says Esperina. Some victims are new; others are in a cycle of abuse and assistance.
“Some women leave an average of seven times before they finally leave for good,” explains Esperina. “So just because they may call the hotline today, they may not be ready to leave. Or someone may come into a shelter for a couple of days, and then he gets hold of her and it’s a show of power and control. Or she realizes, ‘My gosh, I don’t have anything.’ Or her children are missing their dad. There are so many reasons why women don’t leave, or leave and come back.”
While UCDVS operations are funded in part by state and judicial victims services’ grants as well as Connecticut Department of Social Services and United Way of Connecticut, other, unrestricted funds are desperately needed to help victims with needs that arise in times of crisis, says Esperina.
On Saturday, March 10 Esperina invites the public help by joining the 30th annual Bowl-2-Benefit BHcare’s UCDVS at Bowlero in Milford. The benefit hopes to raise $100,000 to help UCDVS respond to needs not covered by grants and other operational funding. The plan is to gather more than 1,200 citizens as teams of bowlers during five sessions. Donors can also sign on as “virtual bowlers” online with a contribution.
Esperina has been busy spreading the word about Bowl-2-Benefit and is always working to get the word out about services offered through UCDVS.
Within the 19-town catchment area of the shoreline/Greater New Haven/Valley, UCDVS will be the first phone number that will pop up on a web search for domestic violence assistance.
“We also partner with a lot of agencies and organizations,” says Esperina. “For example, in Guilford, we partner with Women & Family Life Center, so if someone calls and says ‘I need help,’ they will connect them with us.”
The center also sends educators out to meet with area groups. Because so many victims feel they are in a hopeless situation, it’s incredibly important for them to learn they have options, like making a safety plan, waiting for them through UCDVS.
“Sometimes, someone who is in a domestic violence situation may not be able to see the light at the end of the tunnel,” says Esperina.
Knowing UCDVS has provided many with hope and planning for a safe future is one of the best elements of her work, she adds.
“To help them to see how they can move forward, to help them make a plan, and to help them work the plan is fulfilling,” she says, adding, “I love helping people. My passion is providing great services for individuals and making sure that they get quality services.”
To register for Bowl-2-Benefit or make a contribution, visit www.bhcare.org or call 203-446-9739, ext. 1327. BHcare’s family of services include Umbrella Center for Domestic Violence Services, BHcare Parent and Child Resource Center, and BHcare Alliance for Prevention and Wellness. Learn more about all BHcare programs at www.bhcare.org.