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02/08/2017 07:30 AMWhen she was most deeply locked in her battle with anorexia, doctors had Alexis Amatrudo stand backwards on the scale during weekly hospital visits, so she wouldn’t obsess about that dreaded number popping up. Now, by producing an original short film, she’s fighting to help others spot the subtle signs of anorexia in themselves, family, or friends.
The Branford resident, who will turn 21 at the end of February, was just a sophomore in high school when anorexia nervosa, a serious eating disorder, began to run her life.
According to the National Eating Disorders Association (NEDA), eating disorders such as bulimia, binge eating, and anorexia are “serious illnesses involving extreme emotions, attitudes, and behaviors surrounding food, exercise, and body image.” Thirty million Americans of all ethnicities, genders, ages, and socioeconomic status struggle with an eating disorder at some time in their lives. NEDA is spearheading National Eating Disorders Awareness Week (#NEDAwareness) from Feb. 26 to March 4. Learn more here
NEDA’s stigma-busting slogan is “It’s Time to Talk About It,” and Alexis says being able to talk about it is a huge first step toward getting help.
“It’s a lot more complicated than ‘people who want to be skinny,’” says Alexis, who is now living at a healthy weight. “It’s just something that kind of gradually happens. There’s a lot of stigma still attached to it, but we’re all just normal people who are kind of going through something.”
Alexis was living in Madison and attending Daniel Hand High School (DHHS) when anorexia began to creep in to her life.
“It started at the end of my freshman year, and got bad by my sophomore year,” says Alexis. “It all happened really quickly. At first, I was kind of in denial about it, because at first it was just me wanting to live a healthier lifestyle, and lose a little weight to be healthier. Then it spiraled out of control.”
Looking back, Alexis recognizes she was experiencing a feeling of inadequacy when compared to the “norm” she saw around her in school and the world.
“For girls, especially, there’s a lot of pressure put on us to look a certain way, or act a certain way,” she says. “In high school, I felt everyone around me was really skinny and athletic. I wasn’t athletic, so I didn’t know how to fit in that way.”
Once Alexis and her mom, Karen, recognized the signs of anorexia, the family found professional help.
“It got to point where I was like, ‘I don’t want to do this anymore.’ It takes over every second of your life. You become so compulsively obsessive on your weight and what you’re eating,” says Alexis.
Even so, “when the doctors tell you that’s what happening with you, it did take a minute to accept,” says Alexis. “For me, at least, I felt like I was weak because of it; like I had kind of given in and wasn’t able to keep control, because you feel like you are out of control when you’re in the middle of it.”
She undertook a combination of medical and professional intervention to address the disease.
“With me, it was a very intensive thing. I had to go to hospital pretty much every week for them to check in with me and get weighed. I had to stand backward on scale; to this day I don’t know what I weight I was at,” says Alexis. “I had to meet a nutritionist and go to therapy. I also had a best friend at the time who really helped me.”
During her struggle to regain control over anorexia, Alexis began to focus on her creative side, diving into art offerings at her school.
“My art is definitely something that helped me find a direction,” she says. “Until my junior year of high school, I didn’t have a clue. I started taking art classes and loved it. I spent all my time in the art room. It made me feel better and helped me to focus on things I really care about.”
Finding her Focus
By the time she graduated from DHHS with the Class of 2014, Alexis’s impressive portfolio helped her become accepted at New York’s School of Visual Arts. Now a design major in her junior year, Alexis recently had the honor of being selected for a special intensive offered to a handful of undergraduates due to her exemplary work.
“It’s an honors course where you can create a short film. It’s the same program as the Master’s Directing Program. You’re hiring people and auditioning actors, so that you produce a short film at a professional level,” she says.
When it came to deciding on her film’s topic, Alexis didn’t hesitate. Alexis crafted a story about a young woman with anorexia and the one friend who recognized the signs in her.
“She’s in college in the city, and her friends in the city don’t pick up on it at all, but her friend from home comes to visit, and sees it right away,” says Alexis.
Alexis worked with a professional writer to develop the script for the film, which has the working title The Little Things. Alexis is the film’s director.
“I want people to be more aware of the symptoms and things you can see in your friends. It’s very subtle, because you want to hide it as much as you can. So I want this film to help people recognize it, and bring awareness to people.”
For her part, sharing her story has been empowering, and enlightening.
“I struggled with an eating disorder primarily my sophomore year in high school and carried it through the rest of high school,” says Alexis. “Once you go through it, you realize how many people around you are going through it. I couldn’t tell you how many people I’ve met who have told me they had an eating disorder in high school.”
Now, the future is wide open for Alexis. She hopes this film, her first, will be submitted to some festivals and also plans to get it out to the world through Vimeo or YouTube. She hopes she’ll have more opportunities to work in film, among other areas of the arts.
“I’m a design major, mostly in graphic design. I love style and fashion, but I would love to do film, too,” says Alexis. “I’m really interested in all forms of art, so I hope to have a job someday that allows me to kind of dabble in a lot of different areas.”
Alexis is currently auditioning actors and gathering her crew to film and produce The Little Things, which will about a 10-minute film. To help offset the project cost, Alexis is seeking donations with a pitch she’s made online through crowdfunding website Indiegogo, found here .
“I’m trying to raise $3,500. The money goes to the crew and location, paying for meals and things like editing. I’m hoping I can get contributions in before we begin filming at the end of the month, because I want to pay the people who are helping me! I may have to do it afterwards, but would love to be able to get it rolling and not worry about that part,” says Alexis.
Even as she acts to help others, Alexis knows she needs to continue to help herself, as well. She and her mom have moved to Branford, where her mom grew up, to be closer to family. When she’s away at school, Alexis always remains conscious of what she’s come through.
“Even though it’s at bay now, it’s not really something that goes away. It’s more of psychological thing than a physical thing,” says Alexis. “I’m not going to lie, it’s still a big part of my life. I still obsess over my weight and what I’m eating. I don’t think there’s any way to completely get rid of a thing that becomes part of your psyche. But I had great doctors to help me get control of the things that were controlling me.”