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08/11/2020 01:15 PMLocal fans of the NPR comedy news show, Wait, Wait...Don’t Tell Me, must have been delighted over the last weekend in July to catch a reference—albeit a fictional one—to Clinton.
The program, which is produced in Chicago by WBEZ and NPR, features a “Bluff the Listener” challenge, in which each of the three comedian panelists presents a story to a caller. One of the stories is true; the other two have been invented by the panelists.
For the July 25 show, the theme for the stories was “Re-open Sesame.” The true story as well as the made-up ones were about “a business that figured out a new way to be safe in the age of COVID,” explained the show’s host, Peter Sagal.
In the first story, from The Daily Show with Trevor Noah correspondent Dulcé Sloan, CVS tested a new disinfectant spray, which was applied directly to customers for 20 seconds before they entered the store.
In the third and last story, the owner of a pub in Cornwall, England erected an electric fence, similar to those used to corral sheep, to keep inebriated customers at bay. This turned out to be the true one; it was rewritten and read on the air by actress, writer, and stand-up comedian Jessi Klein.
In between was the Clinton story, in which a Dunkin’ Donuts manager worried that her store was too small to ensure social distancing once Phase 3 of Connecticut’s re-opening allowed customers to come inside. She came up with an innovative solution: huge donuts, six feet in diameter, weighing 25 pounds and held up by suspenders to keep them at waist level. These were offered to customers for purchase to ensure they and others remained at a safe distance.
The Local Connection
The scenario sprung from the imagination of panelist Peter Grosz, an actor and comedy writer who lives with his family in Brooklyn. Grosz didn’t just throw a dart at a map to pick Clinton: Throughout his childhood, Grosz spent summers in Westbrook and Clinton at his family’s first and then second summer house. He, his sister, and their families continue to convene at the Clinton house each summer to visit with their parents.
“I was in Brooklyn when I was writing” the story, he explained by phone from Clinton. “We were coming up here this week...I had Dunkin’ Donuts on the brain.”
In his story, Grosz imagined the six-foot social-distancing devices as actual, edible donuts, available in glazed, chocolate, vanilla, or pink icing with sprinkles.
“You can either eat your way out of the donut in the store or take it home with you to enjoy the equivalent of 750 donuts at your leisure,” he read on the air.
“In the fictional world that I made up, it was a good few days’ worth of food,” he said—each donut contained 45,000 calories.
Grosz said that he and his family usually make a couple of trips to Dunkin’ Donuts during each visit to Clinton. The franchises are not that plentiful in the city.
Except for his mask, Grosz might be recognized around town from his recurring role on Veep or from Sonic Drive-In’s funny and popular “Two Guys” commercials, in which he’s appeared with fellow improvisational comedian T.J. Jadowski for more than 18 years. Grosz has had roles in several films, including The Weather Man and Stranger Than Fiction and such television shows as Key and Peele, Curb Your Enthusiasm, and Inside Amy Schumer.
He won two Emmy awards for his writing on The Colbert Report and has also written for At Home with Amy Sedaris and Late Night with Seth Meyers. He played Mike Pence and served as executive director of The President Show and, in 2018, did a one-time stint as Stephen Miller on The Late Show with Stephen Colbert.
Grosz has many happy memories of summers in Westbrook and Clinton, where he spent the entire summer—from the day after school to the day before school—as a young child.
“I had one really close friend that I was buddies with and just basically knocked around all day with him,” he said.
They played Wiffle ball on the beach, swam, and walked to Dairy Queen. All around, Grosz simply had “carefree summer fun with him” as well as with his family.
At 11, he went to overnight camp, but would spend the remainder of the summer on the Connecticut shoreline.
“I have a really positive, big bulk of memories,” he continued. “It was a peaceful, beautiful place to spend summers.”
Now, returning as a grown-up with his wife and their 11-year-old son, “We always make sure we go to Lenny & Joe’s” in Westbrook, he said. “That’s right where the original [summer] house was.
“We always go to Dairy Queen,” he continued. “I have spent hundreds of dollars, I think, playing [video games] at the back of that Dairy Queen. We also love Grand Apizza in Clinton.”
Grosz knows how to pronounce “apizza.”
“When my son was younger, we took him to the Essex [Steam] Train to take that train ride, but he has sort of grown out of it,” he said. “We go fishing—at Hammonasset Beach there’s an area to go fishing—and at the dock in Clinton.
“We do a little bit of everything,” he said.
Not Going to Happen
Nikki Napolitano, manager of the Dunkin’ in the Clinton Plaza Shopping Center on East Main Street, said she has seen Grosz in the Sonic Drive-In commercials, but doesn’t recall his coming into the store.
While she found his giant donut funny, she said she wouldn’t personally attempt it as a social-distancing strategy.
“It’s a lot of calories,” she said. “Honestly, I really don’t like to waste food. Think of it—all that food wasted around someone’s waist.”
She thinks a 25-pound donut would likely retail for more than $100, which seems beyond the reach of most people.
“It’s nice to have someone try to make light of the subject, because right now it’s so hard,” she said. “I feel bad for everyone that does have [COVID] and lost someone to it.” She sees Dunkin’ employees’ jobs as helping first responders and other essential employees.
“It’s our job to help keep them awake,” she said.
The “Bluff the Listener” segment from the July 25 episode of Wait, Wait...Don’t Tell Me can be found at npr.org.