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Just Tell Them

I meant to go Friday, but things came up. I meant to go Saturday, but the day got busy. I set aside Sunday, but by Sunday it was too late. My good friend and our beloved food columnist Lee White died Saturday night, Sept. 24.

Death, always hard to deal with, in Lee’s case was, is, shocking.

Less than two months earlier she was, as she always had been, as vibrant and alive as anyone I had ever met. She could be counted on every week for her folksy wisdom, sweet storytelling, and reliable recipes. She was a veteran journalist who respected a deadline, a longtime volunteer in her community, and a loving mother. She wore fun glasses and had an amazing wardrobe of fabulous, colorful shoes. She was a generous friend fond of sharing food. We both knew this: sharing food is one of the best ways to share love.

She was blessed with both family and friends-like-family who loved her dearly, and so many readers who loved her as well. One was my friend Lesia Day of Old Saybrook, who has clipped dozens of Lee’s recipes over the years. Lesia says, “I’m usually someone who jumps right to a recipe and skips all the annoying introductory [stuff], but not with Lee’s. I love her cozy stories.” Her sentiments were echoed by many other readers over the years who wrote to tell me that Lee’s column was the first thing they turned to when they pulled our newspaper from their mailbox.

When Lee’s condition took a sharp turn for the worse after her diagnosis, I dove into deep denial about her impending death. I knew this was about Lee and worried about her suffering. I was also dancing around my fear of death and what felt like a selfish desire for just a little more time with Lee. She was transferred to Connecticut Hospice on Double Beach Road in Branford, and about a week or so before she died, I did visit on Sept. 17.

I sat with Lee, who was sleeping on and off, in that spacious room overlooking the boats traversing Branford Harbor, with Lover’s Island in the distance. I felt my fear of death dissipating, if only a bit. If someone knows their life is ending, I thought, how lucky they are to be with these compassionate and knowledgeable caretakers, doctors, and nurses at this beautiful place.

I took several batches of sweets and cookies with me that day, from fancy-pants macarons to some simple peanut butter cookies. And darned if her eyes didn’t open wide and light right up the minute I showed her these simple peanut butter cookies.

Before I left, I bragged about Lee to her caretakers and told them about all the readers who loved her, while Lee listened. And I looked Lee in her eyes and told her I loved her. I told her for me and for all of us. So yes, I regret that I didn’t go that Friday or Saturday. But I’m glad I remembered this a week earlier: time is shorter than we think. So if you love somebody, just tell them.

Easy Peanut Butter Cookies

Adapted from a recipe from Joy The Baker

Ingredients:

1 cup smooth peanut butter (something like Skippy or Jiffy, not the fancy stuff)

½ cup white sugar

½ cup brown sugar

1 large egg

1 teaspoon baking soda

Sea salt to finish

Instructions

In the bowl of a stand mixer or in a medium bowl with electric hand beaters or by hand, combine peanut butter and sugars until well combined, about 2 minutes. Add egg and baking soda and mix for another 2 minutes.

Refrigerate for a couple of hours.

When ready to bake: Place a rack in the upper third of the oven and preheat oven to 350 degrees F. Line a rimmed baking sheet with parchment paper or very lightly grease a baking sheet with butter and set aside.

Drop by small teaspoonfuls on the cookie sheet.

Bake for 10-12 minutes, until lightly browned. Right out of the oven, finish with sea salt. Cool on a baking sheet for two minutes, then transfer to a wire rack or directly into your mouth. Cookies will last in an airtight container at room temperature for up to 4 days.

The dough, shaped into balls, can be frozen side-by-side on a baking sheet. Once they are frozen, then can be stored in a freezer bag for about a month or so. Bake from frozen for 2-3 minutes longer. The dough can also be refrigerated for up to three days before baking.