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04/05/2018 12:01 AM

On Family, Disagreements, Death, Tears, and Food


A few weeks ago I drove from the shoreline to Pittsburgh and back in four days. It is a grueling drive, but it was pleasant because my friend Katrina and I shared the drive—she to see her son, I to see my brother, whose wife died less than a week before.

For me, the days were incredibly sad. My brother and Alice had been married for nearly 60 years. He and I are eight years apart. He went to MIT when I was 9 and, except for a few college breaks, he never came home again to Troy, New York, until he decided take his masters’ degree and doctorate at Rensselaer Polytechnic Institute. Around the same time, I left for college and, really, only went home for a couple of college breaks. After graduate school, he began work in the steel business, which took him to places like Pennsylvania, Ohio, and Indiana, while I lived in Rochester, New Jersey, and, for three decades, New England.

My four days with him after Alice died was time spent disagreeing, and crying about his lost wife and my lost husband.

I realize now that our disagreements had less to do with politics but more about the fact that he likes to be right.

And, I do, too.

We couldn’t fight when we were young, so we do now instead.

I took to him the only thing I am really good at: lots of food. He fed me too, taking me to the Duquesne Club, an amazing private club in downtown Pittsburgh where the surroundings are gorgeous and the food, surprisingly, is as delicious as any restaurant you can imagine.

By the time I got back to Connecticut, there were very few leftovers in my refrigerator, but there was a ham I had roasted. I had no fresh vegetables, but lots in the freezer. I remembered a recipe from one of Jacques Pepin’s books I’d written about many years ago. I didn’t have a zucchini, but I did have green beans. I made this entrée and now I have leftovers.

Pasta, Ham, and Vegetable Gratin

From Jacques Pepin, Jacques Pepin Fast Food My Way, (Houghton Mifflin Company, New York, 2004)

About 1 ¾ cups pasta shells or penne (about 5 ounces)

1 ½ cups diced cooked ham (about 7 ounces)

¾ cup corn kernels (from about 1 ear or frozen)

½ cup peas, fresh or frozen

1 ½ cups cubed zucchini

¾ teaspoon salt

¾ teaspoon freshly ground black pepper

¾ cup grated Swiss (Gruyere or Emmenthaler) cheese

White Sauce

2 tablespoons unsalted butter

2 tablespoons all-purpose flour

2 cups milk

½ cup heavy cream

2 tablespoons freshly grated Parmesan cheese

Bring about 2 quarts salted water to a boil in a large saucepan. Add pasta, stir well, and return to a boil. Boil, uncovered, until cooked but still slightly firm, or al dente, about 12 minutes. Drain, cool under cold running water, then drain again. (You will have about 3 cups.)

Put the cooked pasta in a large bowl and stir in the ham, corn, peas, zucchini, salt, pepper, and Swiss cheese.

For the white sauce: Melt butter in a saucepan, add flour, and mix it in with a whisk. Add milk and bring to a boil, stirring occasionally with the whisk, especially at the edges of the saucepan. The sauce should thicken. Remove the pan from the heat, and mix in the cream. Let cool to lukewarm.

Heat the broiler. Combine sauce with the pasta mixture in a bowl and transfer to a gratin dish or shallow baking dish with about a 6-cup capacity. Sprinkle the Parmesan cheese on top.

Broil about 4 inches from the heat source for 6 to 8 minutes, or until bubbly hot and the surface is lightly browned. Serve immediately.