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07/13/2016 07:00 AMFor nearly four decades, the Shoreline Sailing Club (SSC) has given singles the opportunity to not only get to know other singles while sailing and boating on Long Island Sound and beyond, but fill their calendars with events that extend far beyond the water.
According to SSC Commodore Pat Holinka, the SSC was started 35 years ago by two single women, one with a sailboat and the other with a powerboat, who didn’t have the crew they needed to use their boats.
“They started a club, which not only encourages people to get into boating, but socialization, as well,” said Holinka. “From going boating together, friendships were formed and people got together year-round.”
The group began by meeting at people’s houses and as it grew, it moved to Sachem’s Head and then Dock and Dine before outgrowing those locations. Now there are more than 200 members in the club, which is open to singles ages 35 and up—Holinka noted the majority of members are between 55 and 70—and for the past nine years, the SSC has met twice a month at the Westbrook Elks Club, at 142 Seaside Avenue in Westbrook, for its official meetings.
Finding Adventure
In addition to the twice-monthly club meetings, the SSC’s calendar is full of day sails, sunset sails, weekend sails, and longer boating trips. The members don’t stop sailing or boating in the off-season, as many groups have traveled to sail in Greece, the British Virgin Islands, Antigua, Grenadine, St. Vincent, and more.
“Last year a group flew to Greece, chartered a boat, and sailed the Sporades Islands,” said Cherie Calabrese, the communications chairperson of the SSC. “I just got back from sailing for nine days around Martha’s Vineyard.”
Calabrese got divorced 12 years ago and joined the club in January 2011. She had never sailed before, but she learned through the club and is now First Mate on three boats and sails five days a week between racing, cruising, and traveling to other parts of the world on charters.
“It’s the best decision I’ve made for myself in the 12 years I’ve been divorced,” said Calabrese, who lives in Wallingford. “You don’t have to have stepped on a sailboat ever in your life—there are plenty of people in the club who will teach you how to sail. And it’s not just about sailing, either. We have social events year-round.”
In addition to fun on the water, the SSC has a wide variety of social activities, including themed parties, a Lobsterfest, dockside parties, dances, hiking, theater, and more.
Toni Andrews agrees that joining the club was the “best thing I could’ve done for myself.” Andrews had sailed when she was young, but she hadn’t had the opportunity in many years. Three years ago while at a wine tasting, some of her friends suggested she join the SSC and she jumped at the chance.
“At the time I was single, living alone, and working from home, so you can become very isolated,” said Andrews. “I needed to be around people my age who want to do things. I enjoy sailing, but it has also extended into other areas.”
A woman she met through the SSC convinced Andrews to take a swing dancing class, which she enjoyed. She also recently met up with several members for a “Paint Night” where they created sailboat paintings.
Holinka has been a boater since 1985 and she joined the club five years ago following her husband’s death. She has enjoyed being able to continue boating and now owns her fifth boat.
“The club has given me an opportunity to meet people with varied amounts of skill,” said Holinka, who recently sold her house in Bristol to live aboard in Old Saybrook. “Because of the club, I’ve been able to stay active.”
Finding Friendships
With more than 200 members and so many social gatherings on and off the water, the SSC offers many opportunities for members to get to know each other, which Calabrese, Andrews, and Holinka all noted they are thankful for.
“I came in knowing nobody and I instantly had 300 new friends,” said Calabrese. “Throughout the year, you’re getting to know people and keep extending the network you’re building and the experiences you’re having. By the second year, I was fully entrenched—it’s become part of my soul.”
Calabrese and Holinka credit being able to form such strong bonds to a number of factors, like the many opportunities to get together socially, as well as having common interests such as a love of the water and boating.
“I love the camaraderie and sharing a passion for water, excitement, and adventure,” said Holinka. “I have made some great friendships through this club that will last a lifetime.”
Another common thread that ties members together is that they are single. Calabrese noted that many members have experienced a loss, whether through death or divorce.
“We’ve found ourselves in the singles world and exploring the dynamics that come with being in that singles world so we have an understanding of the journey we’re all going through,” said Calabrese. “We’ve all come together because we have a fondness of summer, water sports, and boating, but also have that understanding and appreciation of being in the singles world. That’s the magic of the club. When you’re living it like I’m living it, it’s a magic.”
Finding Love
In 2010, Betty Langley joined the SSC after she lost her husband of 30 years. She had sailed with her grandfather when she was a child, but hadn’t been on the water since then. After her husband’s death, her boss took Langley and her son on his boat.
“Just being out on the boat, I was able to say to myself, ‘I could survive,’” said Langley, whose friend asked her to join the club. “I didn’t know this existed, but it’s such a special safe haven for single people to get together with not just the water, but all kinds of things. It’s a great place.”
Langley, who lives in Clinton, was not only happy to be back on the water again, but also to meet many new people. One of the people she met was John Kovel of Stonington. Kovel joined the club in 2009.
“I had been a workaholic and said, ‘Let me give this a try,’ and once I got into the sailing, it was a nice experience,” said Kovel, who works at Electric Boat. “It was a nice change of pace from working so much. It gives you time to decompress and I’m less of a workaholic now than I used to be.”
After participating in club activities and sails together in Langley’s first years with the club, the pair hit it off. They started dating three years ago, got engaged in December 2015, and will get married on April 22, 2017.
“We plan on staying in the club as married people—if you’re single and get married, you’re allowed to stay in,” said Langley, who has a Catalina 22. “We will continue going sailing with our friends and take people on day sails. We love the club and believe in the purpose of it—to be on the water, to be able to find a crew and boats, and find friends.”
While both Kovel and Langley are happy to have found love, they are equally happy to have made lasting friendships through SSC and are counting on many of those friends to join them at their wedding. Langley said that many of their club friends have played “an enormous role” as they developed their relationship.
“Not only did I find someone to spend my future with, but I have made friends who will be in my life forever and that’s a very special thing,” said Langley. “When I joined, I had absolutely no expectations on meeting anybody. I joined strictly to find out who I was and knowing if I could be on water and sail and get back into that, I could survive. It was completely unexpected to actually find love—it was kind of a miracle and meant to be.”
Who: Singles 35 and older
What: Shoreline Sailing Club
When: Meetings first and third Thursdays of the month at 7:30 p.m.
Where: Westbrook Elks Lodge 1784, 142 Seaside Avenue
Dues: $90/ year
Information: shorelinesailingclub.camp8.org, Facebook, and Meetup.com