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05/05/2016 12:01 AMBaby Boomers didn’t create the support group. Credit goes to Bill Wilson, who founded Alcoholics Anonymous back in 1935. AA was the first support group to help people recover from alcohol addiction when medical intervention just wasn’t working.
It wasn’t until the Civil Rights Movement of the 1960s, however, when people became aware of their collective power to create change that support groups really began to grow and flourish.
Baby Boomers certainly can take credit for expanding the phenomenon to where it is today—establishing a support group for pretty much everything and where there’s a hole, filling it.
There are now a host of 12-step programs for every kind of addiction, as well as for family members affected by addiction. There is a support group for every kind of physical and mental disease, disorder, and disability, and for every kind of loss and transition.
I was first introduced to support groups more than 25 years ago following the death of my first husband that left me with two young sons. I never imagined sharing my feelings with a bunch of strangers, but I went to a bereavement group because I really didn’t know where else to turn.
Specifically for younger widows, it was a lifesaver. I think the most important aspect of the group I attended—or of any support group—is being with other people who are going through similar experiences when it doesn’t feel like society, as well meaning as some individuals may be, “gets it.”
Another key component of a healthy support group is that it provides a safe space for people to talk about however they may be feeling without criticism or judgment and know that whatever they say will be kept confidential.
Sitting quietly and truly listening and keeping what is said to ourselves is just not something we do well as a culture and less and less with the advent of social media and the need to indiscriminately broadcast everything.
Although support groups do not take the place of professional therapists, the fact that most charge very little or nothing or pass the basket is a real bonus for people struggling financially and it evens out the playing field when everyone can afford to attend.
That early experience with support groups turned me into a true believer. I became a trained Hospice bereavement group facilitator, helping to educate people about the grieving process, and sharing my own experience, which can make all the difference to other grieving souls.
People would ask me why I did something so depressing. Hadn’t I been through enough? They didn’t realize how much I learned from the people in my groups and what a positive, even spiritual, experience it is to witness the honesty, courage, resiliency, and ultimately hope, amidst suffering, to behold the best of human nature—especially now, when the media is constantly exposing us to the worst of human nature.
So, then I began to create groups where I felt there was a void in my own life. I never experienced the “challenges” of teenagers until I had a teenager, and so I organized a “Surviving Adolescents” group while we were living in Essex. Again, it was a place for parents to talk about their own issues and fears, to realize they weren’t alone, to share strategies—and even humor—which is so necessary.
And when my mother was diagnosed with dementia and I had never had a mother with dementia, I started a group for that, too, so members could help each other cope with both the practical aspects and the personal pain of losing one’s loved one, one day at a time, to this insidious disease.
My positive experiences with support groups over the years is also what led me to become an expressive arts workshop leader six years ago, encouraging and guiding people to exercise their right brains and express their feelings through art and writing, encountering the healing powers of the arts. It has been as amazing and uplifting a journey for me as for the participants every time I facilitate a group.
Today, there are so many wonderful organizations in our own backyards offering such a tremendous array of support (including online) that you can probably find whatever you’re looking for by simply googling “Find a Support Group.”
This quote by an unknown source pretty much sums up the priceless and precious gifts inherent in holding each other up:
“We are not here on earth to see through each other.
We are here to see each other through.”
Amy J. Barry is a Baby Boomer, who lives in Stony Creek with her husband and assorted pets. She writes features and reviews for Shore Publishing newspapers and is an expressive arts educator. Email her at aimwrite@snet.net or at www.aimwrite-ct.net.